OMG you guys I am so confused if you follow me on you-tube then you know that every once in a while I have said my baby-daddy and my boyfriend which are two different people but I live with my baby daddy and for a little bit I thought we were gonna get back on good term because he had told me that he didn't want me to be with the person I was with. So I cut if off and then after my ex-boyfriend so to say went out of town me and my baby-daddy got in to it really bad i found that he was still messing around with this girl from 4 years ago and that he slept with her in our old apartment even though of course he wont admit it well what all sparked this was when i found out he was back to his old games of having dating profile online which this time it was mocospace.com which I hate now. And then a day later he left his PC up and i seen pictures of the same girl he cheated on me with while i was pregnant. I specifically told him if he made the decision to be with me that I didn't want him to be with her. Well it didn't seem like he was ever gonna tell me he truth so I came to the decision that I wanted to move to Cali which I have been begging him for 3 years to help me do. He doesn't want to help me move because he knows he will never see our son again but even if i stayed in my current city i still wouldn't let him see our son I'm even thinking about changing my sons name.
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| This exactly how I felt when I found out he was still sleeping and messing around with this girl!!! |
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| This one of those things because I was like I'm not just gonna let a five year realationship go down the drain and i was like I wanna send him and that girl a message but i decided not to but to work on me instead and get me straight so I could move out. |
Cause in between the time we was broke up we decided to still be friends so anyways. I'm so confused now I don't know what to do. I don't know he he really loves me or if he playing games(my ex). Plus I still here with my BD and he's driving me insane I hope to be moved out by December I looking for a job now because my other job might not come thru if I cant get there to do my paper work to renew my contract ( my truck is in the shop) yeah:(
I'm so confused ... I don't know if I should run into his arms... or tell him to fuck off...
Okay and lets not forget that my baby daddy said he was never gonna do it know more which I'm sure is a lie.Pros of my ex: He nice giving, respectful in a old fashion way, sensitive,caring, likes to cuddle, attentive, says he wants marriage.
Cons of my ex: Sometimes can be to sensitive, confuses me, closes up when he has problems, to sociable at times.
Pros of my BD: nice, will do anything I ask him that doesn't involve giving me $ in my hands and I cant think of anything else
Cons of my BD: cheap,doesn't give me money to pamper myself, only does things if it benefits him, feel I should give him 100% while i get 30%, closes up when he needs to think, no communication, nothing in common, feet in stinky, nails are black, food stinks, like a/c on 80 degrees in the summer.
OK so I never really realize how much the cons out weighted the pros when it comes to my BD. IDK ,there are alot of things from our past hindering our future
With my baby-daddy I know I have security as far as a place to stay that why i haven't left seeing that I don't make enough to move.
And with my ex, he saids hes gonna he a place so I can have a place to escape to and he has asked me to move with him provided that I give him a child which I don't want know more of until I'm financially stable and married with a house and nice car with a/c that wont stop on the side of the road. I wanted my first child to be his but when it turned out not to be his I was okay well I don't want anymore, until i get myself together.
So what should I do I DON"T KNOW because I have no one following my BLOG !!! AHHHH LOL..
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